What would you do?
What if you can think in terms of possibilities without limits. Beyond all the medical protocols. Beyond all financial means. What would you like? I know what I would like:
I would like to be healed.
Since I have been diagnosed with cancer, I see the world differently. Things you often do not think about, like going to work, doing your shopping, picking up the children from daycare etc. Acts that everyone often does without thinking. These are just those moments that, if I for a moment forget my illness, feel like the greatest happiness there is.
I want to experience these moments of happiness for at least another 40 years.
The complete story
My name is Wendy Wagenaar. I am a mother of three beautiful children aged 3, 7 and 9 years old. For 22 years together with my dear husband Bowe. In May this year I turned 40, but I canceled my party. Why?
My ovarian cancer is back.
Get rid of statistics
The ovarian cancer was first discovered in 2016. It was only three weeks after that it turned out I also had breast cancer. I am the exceptional case where 2 primary tumors of cancer appeared at the same time. According to statistics this is extremely rare. It almost does not occur. Yet I had it. The same statistics now say that I will not heal. I say that I no longer fit in any statistics.
In the Netherlands they propose the following treatment: Another 6 chemotherapy sessions for an extension of my life. Just an EXTENSION. No HEALING.
What I have in mind for myself is more beautiful years with my dear family. I want to see my children grow up. Apart from that fact that I also want them to grow up with a mother and not without.
Immunotherapy as a future
And you know what? I believe in possibilities. I believe, together with a lot of medical specialists that within 20 years we can cure people of cancer by means of immunotherapy. I have to bring this future forward for myself. I do not get the time to wait for it.
Immunotherapy in the Netherlands is not yet sufficiently scientifically proven for my type of cancer.
Across the border, in Germany, dendritic cell therapy is used already. It is a form of immunotherapy. This is done, among others, in the IOCZ in Cologne.
My life is way too expensive
The only disadvantage of immunotherapy outside the Netherlands are the costs. There is a high price tag and health insurance in the Netherlands does not pay for the costs.
So my borderless thinking in possibilities stops here. And that's how I spin in a circle for weeks now. Looking for opportunities that are unaffordable for me.
My life is way too expensive. That is now quite literally clear, because healing and getting a chance for that seems unaffordable.
Set aside that pride!
For long I could not set aside my pride. My pride not to ask for help. I wanted to do this by my own. But ..... you know? I cannot do this alone.
For a long time I did not want people to know about my illness. I wanted to be able to enjoy my family in a bit of anonymity. I had just lost the 'patient' stamp a little bit. And suddenly I'm back with those statistics that are not favorable anymore.
If I had limitless resources, I would have already crossed our country border. Starting to
work on possibilities!
What will I lose if I do not put aside my pride? My life!
My life and my family are much more dear to me than my pride. Much dearer.
So: I set my pride aside.
To be able to say in 10 years' time: "What we did was the right decision" And to able to tell it is always worth keeping hope and believing in the possible things.
Who wants to help?